After my lack of sleep on Saturday, I woke up too early and ended the day, too early. I did the volleyball thing with my daughter, and actually kinda dug it. Makes me want to get involved more. Then, our house was quiet, we didn’t have plans, so I wanted to spend time with my family and got shot down like I was under attack from a firing squad.
I did the only thing I knew to do when I’m attacked, personally. Retreat. I went to the lake by myself and just walked around. The breeze guided some spray to my face and I could close my eyes and take deep breathes.
Then I went home to another attack. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving.” Damned if I do… I was trying to calm down or it could have been ugly. It felt ugly anyway. It still feels ugly. That’s part of trying to get mentally healthy though, right? Rip off the old that doesn’t work and re-build. With everything I found myself in bed by 5pm sick as hell with a migraine. Its only occasionally lifted since. Today its more heartache that’s the cause of my woes. Spent a lot of mental/emotional energy in the “what if” bear trap still.
Where’s my bible? Mama Bear needs help!
Mentally Healthy Mama Bear in Progress 