A Bear in the Backseat

Dream interpretation, identity/assignment identification and just becoming more mentally sound have been my life lately. I keep trying to remind myself that my assignments are products of what my identity can handle. They have been given to me for a reason or purpose. I asked for help learning to communicate when I’m upset. I’m doing better about identifying my emotions. I just need to learn how to communicate them. I think that’s where last nights completely out there dream came from.

I was driving a long narrow road (life). My mom was driving with me for some reason, (that I can’t quite figure out). We saw a bear on the side of the road and we were terrified. The bear then caught up to our vehicle and climbed into the back seat. (I still think it’s me because I identify myself as a bear). Am I living my life in the back seat? Terrified, in the dream, I try to call my husband. Frantic. I kept getting his voicemail. No communication (yup, we know that’s one of our huge problems). I then called someone I wish I hadn’t and after taking the advise given and trying to remain calm, the bear looked at me. Still completely frightened, the bear continued to stare at me and then threw up on me (this interpretation I’m a little fuzzy on). I’m sitting in the back seat of life with someone else driving it, not able to talk to my husband and my identity throwing up on the shell of myself. I’m literally making myself sick. I’m sick, not being who I really am. Now this dream, coincidentally, is occurring the night before I go get injections for my migraines and woke up with one hell of one after it. Am I making myself sick not being my identity. Focusing too closely on my assignments and taking them on as my identity, not communicating with the right people are making myself sick. Now all of that maybe a complete stretch. My anxiety overthinking EVERYTHING. Right now though, I want to be healthy and thriving, full of joy. Isn’t troubleshooting part of that process?

I celebrated the hell out of yesterday. I had success with a long standing technical problem at work. I went to the gym. I got feedback that we in radio, as well as myself loved hearing and I went on a walk with my husband and dogs. I prayed fearlessly. Then this dream happened, so I’m not sure how to place all the pieces together.

God, I pray to you, to continue my journey. If I am living in the backseat to my assignments I pray to you to help me allow you to drive and listen to you. I pray for you to help me communicate with those I love. I pray for you to help me physically and mentally become healthy to do the assignments you have blessed me with as my true identity is your child. Please also help everyone or be there for everyone I love, as we all have assignments that aren’t always easy. In your name, I pray.