Stand Back UP

Right now, I’m bear crawling. I attack stressful situations and I do the thing that needs to be done to get it done. Short term. Then I’m so exhausted, I end up in bed for 18-20 hours. This post and the journals/planners in front of me are me standing back up. Do the thing. You know your goals. You just wrote them all out.

I am an exceptional daughter of Christ.

I am an exceptional wife and mama.

I weight 150lbs. Without joint issues.

I don’t take anti-anxiety or sleep meds.

I’m On Air.

We are financially secure.

We are planted where God leads us.

We travel and work on our “couples” bucket list.

I have my tattoos and removals.

I am very proud of myself for earlier this week shutting everything down and saying I was done. My brain couldn’t process anymore. I think I need to figure out ways of processing so that it doesn’t get to that critical level of oh dear Lord help me I’m a gonna lose it. This is all a learning processes. But I need to get back up.

I’m supposed to meet with a trainer Tuesday. He goes to our church, and I should have gone to church today to see him. Talk to him. So much of what he does, I’m envious of. He’s healthy, obviously. He plays guitar, he’s on our praise team. I truly believe that so much of my other goals will find traction once my health gets in check. But I feel like i’m running a losing battle. Scratch that, I can’t run. I’m bear crawling through my battles. I need to get back up.

I’m going to finish this post. Finish my tea. Go get a drink thingy full of water and get moving. I’m supposed to designate a song as my go to pump up jam. Today all I could think of was this slow melodic “Stand Back Up”, so its time to look in my music webs and find something that will be the bear necessity, to get up and shake my tail even. Movement. Water. Prayer. All of it. Help me Lord Jesus. Amen.