Anyone who has ever read my stuff (not that I really believe that there are any of you), know that I have a mild obsession with all things Hollis. 3 weeks ago, they started a #next90days challenge. I loved the one I started in October so I was super pumped. So far I thought I was making headway but now, I’m feeling a little defeated, and 3 weeks in, isn’t great. Yes, I got my water back into control. Yes, I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since this started (Alcohol free April, Mac (Pasta) free May and Processed sugar junk free June). I’m doing gratitude work, most days, not always first thing though. I’m not getting up an hour everyday. I’m not moving my body for 30 minutes everyday. One of my goals/dreams is to get these habits down so that they are like oxygen to me. I know what I feel like what I do these things.
I also need to start doing some serious prepping. Brain dumps. Laundry every Sunday. Pills every Sunday. Figuring out meals ahead of time. These are habits I need too. I’ve also started the simple act of making my bed before I leave in the morning. Sounds silly or feels silly to type, but it does help. Like cleaning/organizing my desk, every night before I leave.
I realized something yesterday. All the times I’ve been told, I’m not a runner. That I won’t run again. Even myself. F*#k that! I’ve added it to my 10 years list. Thank you to Britney running a marathon and Miss Rae Rae video-ing herself running every damn day. Talking about running a 5k for holidays. I WANT THAT. My knees and ankles DO NOT want that. Come at me bro!
Saturday or Sunday a friends sent me a pic from 2000-ish. I didn’t even recognize myself. I now know how messed up that girl was. Lost. Hooked on pain meds. Not eating. In and out of a toxic relationship. About to fail out of school. Not in treatment/meds. Self-medicating with booze and sex. I would love to look like that 19 year old. NOT at the expense of what I have now. NOT at the expense of going through what I did when I looked like that. I want better. I will have better. I just need to get my habits locked in. Quit emotionally eating. Bless my body. Get/keep my mind right. Hustle. Tell doubters/voices of authority to hit the bricks. My brain and emotions are not open for vacancy.
I signed up for a Rise conference in a few weeks. I’m beyond freaking excited. Fire, here I come. Better/The me I want to be. As Mr Hollis would say….”LETS GO”
Now, can this Bear, really get all my habits into place constantly? When we fall, we get back up. We RISE. I will RISE.
Mentally Healthy Mama Bear in Progress 