I went from knowing I was in anxiety hell to now thinking its depression, I start researching what is a mixed episode. Not sure I remembered that was a thing. Until I could’t function yesterday afternoon/night. My body stopped. I was nauseous, headache, achy, exhausted and a whole host of icky feelers. I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do and that is continuing into today. I know that this is mental but I pray that if I’m wrong, everyone stays safe.
My body aches. I feel like my muscles and skin are going to rip apart and the bones pop through my flesh. I want to crawl into a deep dark hole with a soft blankey and feel angels wings wrapped around me so I can bust out full of energy, joy and everything that is absent right now. As I just sang with my church service with my eyes filled with tears and them streaming down my face, “Let me be different”. God Bless you Micah Tyler.
If history is any guide, I need to keep moving to get through this. This ache. Stretch out the illness in my body so that it can go away, but not push my body to a point that I internally and emotionally drown. Lord. help me, please.
Mentally Healthy Mama Bear in Progress 