An Itch to Scratch

I have quite a few fires on my desk at the moment but my brain is super itchy from the last 48-72 hours.

1-I researched more on the now infamous Rachel Hollis Rant. I feel so stupid. Some of the various obvious things that were red flags I choose to see as Red Kool-Aid pouches. I wanted to buy into the everything could be sunshine and butterflies if I follow these steps that she swore were the steps to suck-sess. I do admit there were some of those practices that I don’t regret and maybe there was a little something besides cult Kool-Aid in those pouches but I felt better following some of those practices. The mind can do miraculous things. To sum it up, I feel stupid, I’m not completely sure I regret following her, I’m glad that when I did start to see flags I wasn’t completely cracked and I pray I never end up in her shoes. I think in some of her books she was completely honest but it was just veiled and twisted for her greater good. She said she was a hustler. Myself included, how many people bought her brand? She said not to let people see her “run”. Her life looked flawless. We didn’t see the real mess. At all. For someone who wants a different life or to make their life better and here’s the secret to success from someone who seemed (in my mind) genuine, why wouldn’t you buy in? I will make this next statement very clear. I do not have everything figured out. I let a whole lotta people see I’m a hot mess. I’ve loved and I’ve treated people like crap. I’ve been treated like crap and didn’t do anything about it. I am human. 2-Yesterday, I got to fill in on a podcast and it felt awesome! It was a few things combine on my 10-10-1 list. It felt freaking amazing. It reminded me of those goals.

Do I buy in to the Hollis Co I don’t even know what to call it. Yes and no. I am privileged. I don’t know how a whole lotta people can’t admit that after everything that has unfolded this year. Do I believe there are things to focus on in life, absolutely. My faith, my family and my friends will always be my focus. Are there things I want to focus on beyond that? Abso-f*ingltely. My career and my faith collided yesterday. My support system has grown stronger in faith in the last year (that I really haven’t followed the Hollis’ ironically).

This post isn’t to flat out bash anyone. Do I want to just faceplam what I’ve seen, oh yeah. Like I said, I feel completely stupid for drinking a whole lot of expensive Kool-Aid. It did teach me a thing or two though. I’m just going to go about a different way of living. These are the random things that my bear brain needed to metaphorically find a tree to scratch. Baloo the Bear style.